happy new year to all you whores. hopefully you all remember last night and haven’t done anything too regrettable. 

for now, Memoirs of a Virginal Whore will be going under construction and it’ll come back in a new light. 

till then, 

happy whoring

That was the goal. To go one month with no man. One month with no dates, no hookups, no extracurricular activity with a man. I’ve been absent this month, and for good reason, this blog runs on stories of my dates and adventures, and when I have none, the blog lacks in material.

I’m not officially back yet. I won’t be until the New Year, but even then, my dates and rendez-vous probably won’t be in the same caliber as before. The whore has a heart, or something like that. So I’m trying to slow the roll on me sleeping with everyone and try to find just one person to sleep with. And by saying “find”, I mean, have them find me, because I’m not putting in the effort for now. 

This past month has been good. I deleted my grindr, my adam, any other site you could imagine, I got rid of it all cold turkey. I’m glad I did, I’ve been more productive and it’s suiting me so much better. 

My stories will still be flooding in from time to time, so not all is lost. 

Till the next time, 

Happy Whoring. 

I’ve been sober from men for a month now. Maybe a little less, but in the greater picture of it all, I am free.

Not having been on any dates really is bad for business considering how without my whoredom, I have no material to write about. This is the tricky part, to go against my own moral judgment and cheat my own system to provide material? or to think back in my memory tank and try to write about dates that I’ve been on that I’ve forgotten to write about. Well, with the help of facebook, my memory is afresh and I am ready to dive into the story that is: The Voice. 

This was all in back in the day when Sweet Lady G was still my guiding savior, and also back in the day when I had just begun my whoredom. A mistake that I would make a lot in the beginning was that I wouldn’t talk to these “dates” before I went out with them. There’s a lot you can tell from someone’s voice; like, are they fem or not? The tone is key and with this one, I was lacking the call. I get to the coffee shop and he’s not there. I give a call and I hear, what I was hoping was the voice of someone’s younger sister, “oh my god oh my god oh my god, I am like soooo sorry I’m late, I’m coming in right now, ok? I’m like so sorry.” It was over. Deal Breaker. If I knew then what I knew now, I should have trusted my initial gut feeling and just left, but I still had some heart then, so I stayed and I sat through what turned into a long conversation on politics, culture, and religion. 

There are certain types of people out there where facial hair does not look good on them. It’s the way their hair grows, it looks almost pubic and it’s disgusting. Imagine that, but a big beard full of pubic hair. His voice was 12 octaves higher than my little cousin and he was wearing skinny jean’s, a t-shirt, a scarf, and flip flops. There are also certain types of people out there that shouldn’t wear skinny jeans. I am one of those, so is he. For a lack of a better term, I have a fat ass and my legs are thicker, so if I wear skinny jeans I look like I should be thrown in jail for indecent exposure. His clothing choices were sub-par and I still wasn’t impressed. We walked up to order our drinks, and right there, right in front of me was my brother’s best friend. Well, how awkward. How so very awkward. “Hey!, how’re you?” I said to her, she turns to me and says, “oh my god, hey! how do you know Nick?”

It took me a second, but then it hit, my brother’s best friend is friends with my “date”. How awkward, how so very very awkward. We bipassed her and I just tried to remain calm. 

The rest of the day wasn’t all that horrible. Conversations flooded in but when it reached the second hour I was tired. I couldn’t prolong it any more and I would have been happier in my room watching a sleazy rom-com. We leave the cafe and he hugs me. I’m weird about hugs. I normally initiate when I feel it necessary, or if I just want to. In this scenario, I didn’t see it necessary and I certainly didn’t want to. He hugs me and tries to go for a kiss. No. No. No. I hate PDA. I hate it more than I hate crocs and Walmart. He scoop and tell him that I’ll call him.

Lies, I wouldn’t call, but what I didn’t realize was that he would. He’d call, text, call again and then facebook. I deleted him from my facebook and in a way, from my life. 

Lesson from this: talk to your dates before you go out with them. Voices give away so much about the person. Just do it. You’ll be so much happier. 

There comes a point in your whoredom where you realize that you’re doing too much and you need to take a step back and focus on the whore before he became a whore. 

That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m swearing off men until the new year. I’m not going to progress on any relationship, I won’t start any new ones, and no sexual acts either. I will be giving up dick until the new year. While I’m at it, I decided to be healthy and give up alcohol unti the new year too, we’lll see how that goes. Men and alcohol are the two reasons why I live, so giving up both might be a little too traumatic for me, but we shall see what happens. 

I will be documenting my days without men and you might see the occasional breakdown and me freaking out. Fret not, dick will be back in my life soon enough, and once it’s back I’ll be looking better and more self fulfilled.

That’s the goal. If not, then dick binge it is. 

I have a problem where I just immediately fall in love with someone in just one glance. It’s not love at first sight because I go through about 20 a day, but it’s something to take note of.

The current object of my obsession is just absolutely perfect. Sleepy eyes, hairy chest, full lips, and a beard to make everything better. 

So now I have to wait, to make progress, to make advancements, to make something out of nothing so it could end up benefiting me.

Any major decision needs to be brought forth to a wise and all knowing consulting panel. This panel shall advise you in how to proceed in certain situations and what actions you would need to perform to reach an optimal level of success.

Most of my major decisions are who to sleep with, so it’s safe to say that I ask around the opinions of others on what they would do to make it seem like I’m not such a whore that sleeps on the first date.

Sweet Lady G had brought me another gift. This time it was in the form of a Persian from back home. We had talked for a while now and my charm had finally worked and he was to come visit me at school for a night, a date, if you would. I consulted my panel and one member advised me to cancel the date and wait until I was back home. I didn’t agree too much with this because a) the Persian was cute, b) I needed a new distraction. A second panel member advised me otherwise. I was told to invite the Persian over, but to keep myself closed, both metaphorically and physically. I promised to do my best, but as you all know, that’s that was the most difficult task of all for me. 

The Persian came over and we went to get dinner downtown. Talks were good, we both made fun of our sever so I knew we were on the right path. Going out with someone from your own race can be weird sometimes. They know your background, they could have the same tactics and you could end up failing miserably and losing everything. Although I was nervous, this was not the case. I had won, I had charmed my way and I was so very proud of it. After a nice walk around downtown we went into one of the historic buildings and went up a staircase labeled “off limits.” That’s never stopped me, so we went up and on the highest point where you could see the entire courtyard lit up and he kissed me. I was expecting it but it still came as a surprise. We ended up going back to my place and even though I promised the panel that I would barely give him a kiss, I had failed. I had failed, but I knew that I would. I’m not going to stop you if you’re trying to go down on me, why would I? It would be rude of me. After some kissing on the bed, we were both naked. I should feel like a whore that it’s only the first date and we’re both naked, but my backwards dating style had to present itself sometime. More kissing followed and we ended up falling in and out of sleep in each others arms. Cute, kind of. My twin extra long bed is not big enough to hold me, let alone two people, but we made it work. 

He woke up a couple hours later and had to leave because he had class the next morning. I was just happy to have my bed to myself again. I hate to sound like such a heartless bitch, but I definitely have no feelings invested in this. He likes me more than I like him, and this could be used to my advantage, but my feelings won’t be hurt during this one. 

A whore is a whore is a whore and who am I to hide that. Date two to come soon. 

why sure I’ll suck your dick. 

Falling for the idea of a person is so much easier than actually falling for that person. It’s so easy to say you like someone when you don’t know them. It’s so easy for you to picture things how you want it to be when you can build everything from scratch. Somewhere along the line though, something happens and feelings are lost. Before you get to really know the person you’re pushed aside and you have no idea what to do or how to react. You keep pushing, you keep wanting more, but you get nothing in return. What’s worse, is the fact that you didn’t even get to know the person. Through some whim, they decided you’re not what they needed and they cut you out. What hurts most is that feeling of not knowing. It’s that emptiness you feel. Because you actually felt something for that person. Because you actually wanted something more than just a “hook-up.”Now you’re left feeling some kind of loneliness. It’s not a feeling that will last forever, but it’ll be there for a little bit. And until you decide that feeling worthless is not worth it at all, you’ll sit there and think. But eventually, you’ll move forward and you’ll realize that whatever feelings you have for someone will only be a momentary thing. You’ll eventually move on and things will be different. Until you find someone new, you’re stuck in your own little bubble. You can either deal with that, accept it, and be happy with it, or you can keep whoring until you find something that works. The latter might not work so well, but can you all guess which path I’ll be choosing?